I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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