Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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