R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
