paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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