You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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