guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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