is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We need to get me chipped asap
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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