Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
