The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
