I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
