i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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