how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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