It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
