we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I am naked and annoyed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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