i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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