dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
