Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
