my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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