No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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