so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
