Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
