just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i now understand why vodka
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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