Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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