Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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