tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
sick fucks of a feather flock together
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
