I have demons in me.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
