thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
