im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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