So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
