wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
