Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
