he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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