Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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