making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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