whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
