No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
