hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
