dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
