I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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