You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
