Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
