I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
