Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
