You really coming over, don't trick.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
