Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I love having hate sex.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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