Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
