Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
