the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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