Don't you send me to vm
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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