He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
